Dear ,

There’s a period in almost every young child’s developmental life during which it seems like they resist just about everything we do. When it’s time to change their diaper they throw a fit and try to wiggle away. When meal time rolls around, they cry and refuse to eat their sandwich because it’s cut wrong. Etc.

This stage usually subsides with time and the maturation of their wonderful little brain cells. But…in the meantime…what can we do to ease the battles?

One powerful approach involves asking young kids lots and lots of questions…questions about anything. Yes, when they begin to throw their fits, look at them with an excited smile, and begin asking things like:

What’s your favorite animal?

What do you like to eat the most of?

Do you think you are going to ride your tricycle today?

What did you do at Grandma’s yesterday?

Is the moon up in the sky or in the garage?

If asked in an excited, rapid-fire way…not pausing much for the child’s answer to each…these sorts of questions can get little ones thinking more about the answers than about the fit they are trying to throw. In fact, it’s not unusual for a small child to stop fighting and want to tell you all about something that excites them! For more fun tips on avoiding power-struggles with young children, read our book Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.

Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay

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©2009 Charles Fay, Ph.D. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic^® Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065.

Dear ,

I met a man on the airplane who passed on some great advice. He said that he memorized the following rhyme. It played in his head many times as he raised his family. He said that every time he forgot to apply this wisdom he was disappointed with how he handled a situation.

Here it is:

“Never discipline in anger.
Never discipline in haste.
Save it for some happy day,
When both are feeling great.”

One of the essential skills of Love and Logic^® parents is to delay discipline long enough to cool down, think it over, seek advice if necessary, and deliver the consequence when both the adult and child are in the thinking mode.

Hear examples of this technique on the audio CD, “Developing Character in Teens.” This presentation is all about raising kids so that they will have character when they become teens. It includes examples for children of all ages.

Thanks for reading!
Jim Fay

The Love and Logic^® Show
Visit this page to listen to The Love and Logic^® Show with Dr. Charles Fay. New shows are posted regularly and they feature different parenting challenges…and they provide tried and true techniques for taking the exhaustion out of raising respectful and responsible kids. Podcasts are now available.

If we have misspelled your name, or if this isn’t you, please click here to correct.

©2006 Jim Fay. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic^® Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065.